Stephy

We all have gifts inside of us even if we haven’t discovered them. Maybe it could be that you have discovered your gift but you think its insignificant because you are comparing it to someone else’s gift. Our gifts are tied to our purpose and dreams.

Do you keep hearing that whisper to start something, does it keep repeating itself through others confirming your gifts/potential, do you keep coming across information related to that dream or the gift that you’re trying to bury? If that is you, know that God is calling you to do something great in His kingdom. The question is, are you courageous enough to heed the call? Will you be obedient to this calling?

I read a book years ago by Debbie Ford, ‘The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions To Guide You To An Extraordinary Life,’ this book is extraordinary and found me at a time in my life when I was searching for purpose. I am still working towards my purpose but my life is much clearer now that it was then. In summary, this book challenges us to take own ownership that we are where we are because of the choices that we have made. To have the life that you want and not repeat the patterns of the past, you have to make new choices. ‘Your choices take you closer or further from your dreams’

Debbie Ford, in her book ‘The Right Questions’, writes that you can create your future by having: a vision, objectives and goals. She says, without a vision, it is easy to fall into old habits. A vision map becomes our true north a reference point that helps us to get to our destination in the shortest time and our goals guide us towards the road we need to take. It is true what she she says in her book that ‘the longer we wonder without purpose and direction, the more lost and unclear we become. Have you ever felt this way? LOST, NOT KNOWING WHERE TO START, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO EACH DAY, DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU ARE NOT ACCOMPLISHING WHAT YOU WANT? This is a book that I would recommend to help you reset. To see what choices you are making that dim your light, how you can make choices that light your flame and how to do a vision map that will help you to give yourself permission to have all that you desire.

Not to start this blog too spiritual but this is something that we constantly need to remind ourselves. Romans 8:39 reminds us that nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We all fall short and keep doing wrong things again and again even when we resolve to be better. You may be struggling with an addiction that you are trying to shake off: masturbation, infidelity or even alcoholism. You must remember that you need to pray for God to help you and to seek godly counsel to help you stay committed and accountable. Some people have done worse things than I’ve mentioned but even if you have, you can start all over again. Confess your sins and strive to start all over again.

Keeping away from things that prompt us to sin is a start. The bible doesn’t lie when it says, if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. This must not be taken literary. It means you must cut ties with those people or things that cause you to sin. If you are unfaithful, delete and block the person you are having an affair with. Avoid them, have an accountability buddy and seek help to know yourself better. Why do you need that affair to feel validated. Most addictions are symptoms of a bigger problem, emotions that you’re trying to suppress or avoid. We all have trauma of one form or another but should find healthy channels to deal with it.

Every day is a fresh start and a challenge to do better when we know better. You can do it. You are not useless, you are not a lost cause. You are deeply loved by the Almighty God and his dream for you is to try better each day and to draw closer to Him. God’s love only can make you feel whole and have purpose. NOT the sex, drugs, money, alcohol or fame. Everything else apart from God is sinking sand and will make you feel hollow, if it is your foundation. Keep your head up! You are loved and can begin again. I will be praying for you.

You may have heard or read in some Christian literature the phrase, ‘your trial will be become your testimony, ‘ or even, ‘your testimony will become your purpose.’ The reason for your existence here on earth may be to go through something, so that you can be an encouragement or lesson to another. We all go through trials and some have a greater share of them. However, we do not overcome trials by our own effort, but through the grace of God. Just as we are comforted by God as we go through trials, He wants us to comfort others and encourage others to keep going and to rely on Him .

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 reminds us of this.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. (New International Version (NIV) Bible )

Sharing our story and and the victory that we have obtained through Christ is important. No one is ever too messed up to be used by God. No story is insignificant and no experience should be wasted if it can bring good. There is no shame to your story and it is in sharing it that we continue to demystify the shame and overcome our weaknesses.

When I reflect back on my life, I see many mistakes that I made and how far from God I had gone, despite my belief that I was a Christian. For years I felt ashamed and guilty for my actions and I would quickly repent but go back to my old ways. I had a very sheltered upbringing which resulted in me having a rebellious attitude towards the restrictions my parents enforced. Growing up on a farm made it harder as I was not exposed to socialising with friends apart from when I was at school and my siblings. Like every other teenager, I developed a liking for boys in elementary school. When I was in high school, this interest grew further due to the attention I was receiving from boys. I have been in ‘a relationship of sorts’ from the age of 16 until to date. Shocking but true. (I digress a little here but I believe that one should only start dating only when they know themselves and purpose. Preferably after the age of 25)

My first boyfriend was a Muslim and from a different country(already you can see that we didn’t share similar faith) and we dated for 4 years up until my second year of university. The reason for the break up was because I become pregnant and he started acting different as if the child was not his. I lost my virginity when I turned 21 years [with this same boyfriend] and this is when my life began to go downhill. I was raised to believe that sex before marriage is wrong and I tried to keep my purity but the peer pressure at university got to me. I made wrong friendships, my friends used to drink alcohol, clubbing and smoking, so I started doing the same. One of my friends was sexually active, so with time, what once seemed a taboo to me appeared normal.

I become pregnant at 21 and felt like my whole life was coming to an end. when I did the pregnancy test, the nurse who gave me my results told me, ‘at 21, you can’t keep this baby, you have to abort.’ I had not even processed what I would do but her words influenced my decision in the next few days especially because my boyfriend became evasive and kept avoiding me. I take responsibility for my actions though as I proceeded with the abortion and I was not held at gun-point. What I can say though, words have power. If you are a person in a position to advice, be careful with your words as you will be held accountable for them in the last days.

You would think that one easily learns from bad mistakes. After I broke up with my First boyfriend, I entered into another one immediately. Since having sex had become less of a taboo, I quickly gave in and three months later, I became pregnant yet again. As much as my conscience haunted me, a second abortion was easier to go through and I saw it as the only solution. My boyfriend didn’t advocate for a different solution but he remained supportive in the abortion. I had shared with him what had happened in my previous relationship and maybe he thought since I had done it before, why could I not go through it again. I do regret my choices now and would never advise anyone to go through an abortion. Children are a gift from God no matter how they come into this world. I keep wondering whether these two souls would have become great leaders or what contribution they would make to the world. I denied these two beautiful souls to live and see their God given destiny. God says, do not kill and I am guilty of this sin. Many see killing as shooting, poisoning someone et cetera.

Abortion [however much the pro choice activists try to sugarcoat it] is the killing of innocent and defenseless souls. For years I packed my actions into my subconscious to cover up my guilt. No matter how hard you try to hide from yourself, this shame and guilt will never leave you unless you repent and try to amend your ways. I went to confession 13 years after the two the act and cried like a baby. The pain was guilt engulfed me but I was courageous enough to admit my mistakes and take a different path.

The bible reminds us in 2 Corinthians 6:14 ‘Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have?’ Don’t think you can be a hero in all cases and convert others. Try to date people who share your faith and values. It makes your life and maintaining your purity easier. Choose your friends wisely for, bad company corrupts a good character. [1 Corinthians 15: 33] Have you checked your friendships lately? Do your friendships sharpen you and make you a better version of yourself? DO YOU SHARPEN YOUR FRIENDS? [Proverbs 27:17]

My story (Part 1)

The last week, I have been reflecting on how much I have tried to block out my previous life. I have been feeling the urge to write about my story and I hope that by sharing it, I will bless someone, inspire them or just assure them that they are not alone. Just a reminder, this is my year. The year to go beyond my fears, to challenge myself and be the best that I can be. Not by my strength but by the grace and strength of God.

I cannot per se say that I had a happy childhood. At home, my parents would always compare me to my siblings. I had a love hate relationship with my siblings and many times they would gang up and beat me up. I felt like the world was so unfair to me and thought that the only person who loved me was my dad. I grew up as a daddy’s little girl and he was generally lenient to my mischievous ways. I thought my mum hated me because she would punish me often, even when the culprit was my brother. Later on in life, my brothers revealed to me that they used to gang up against me because I used to be a bully. That was a great wake up call. Here I was living all these years riding on my high horse.

One day, I was so upset with my mother that I told her I didn’t choose to be brought into this world. I took all my clothes, shoes and other belongings and put them in a heap telling her I wanted nothing that had come from her. The only clothing that I had on my body was a light green blanket and somehow in my mind I thought this blanket was not bought by her. She was really hurt and had balancing tears. I did not care then, I felt my emotions were more justified. What she said however caught me off guard. She asked me, ‘if you don’t want anything from me, why are you covering yourself with my blanket?’ I was embarrassed and angry at the same time but did not say anything. I still felt like my feelings were more valid than hers.

Fast forward to 2021, I’m not so close to my dad like I used to be. I discovered he was flawed and his philandering ways. I am very close to my mom and siblings. Please don’t misunderstand that I’m trying to say that I’m not close to my dad because of his philandering ways. Who am I to judge him yet I’m a sinner in many ways. I think the relationship changed because he didn’t invest much in our relationship. Between his work and socialising, he hardly spent time with us. My mum did bulk of the raising of the children and dad focussed on paying school fees and other things. In my adulthood, dad hardly calls and many times when I call he doesn’t answer his phone. His philandering ways I do have to admit are too are close to home because they remind me of what my husband does. I forgive him though. Life is too short to hold grudges. Treasure the people who have made you who you are.

If I focus on the positive, my dad worked hard so hard that I may have a good education. He did what he knew best. He grew up without parents: his mom passing away when he was  five years old and his father following when he was seven. I can say he overcome all odds growing up in poverty and making something out of his life. I will forever be grateful for his sacrifices and wanting to empower me with education so that I can be independent and never lack in life. Today I celebrate him. Never judge another human being by their choices, they are going through their own challenges and life experiences have shaped them. Let us bear each other with love. Focus on the positive.

To be continued…

Do you struggle like me, wanting to be perfect in everything that you do? We all wish to be the best at something; making a new discovery that gives you world recognition, being an expert in a particular subject etc.

Polishing up your gifts and perfecting your craft is great but we shouldn’t feel like we don’t have anything to offer and are mediocre. God’s standard is, whatever you do, give it your all. It could be as simple as cleaning your house, give it 100 percent. It is in giving your all, that you gradually perfect your craft. Simply put, practice makes perfect. If you commit to perfecting your gift without giving up, you will eventually get noticed for your abilities. Proverbs 18:16 says,  ‘A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before the great.’

However insignificant you may feel your gift is in comparison with another person, remember that it matters. All of us have been different gifts by God that fit perfectly in his kingdom. [Romans 12:6]. God doesn’t look at us the way man looks by our appearance, He looks at our heart. [1 Samuel 16:7] He can use us, just as we are and with what we have. It doesn’t matter if we feel imperfect, He see us for who we truly are. What are you waiting for to use your gifts, now that you have that assurance? Don’t let perfectionism get in the way.

If you struggle with perfectionism like I do, I would recommend reading Brene Brown’s book, ‘Gift of imperfection’. https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/ She says in her book that ‘perfectionism hampers success’... [It can lead to] ‘depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis.’ She describes life-paralysis as the ‘opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put out anything into the world that could be imperfect [and also,] all the ‘dreams that we don’t follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes and disappointing others.’

My challenge to you, keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter how scared you feel.

It is so easy to fall back into your old ways once you become an intentional Christian. It takes work and support from the right friends to stay on the right path. I have been feeling of late that I’m slipping slowly into my old wayward ways. I had a great reminder this morning through John 8:36 ‘If the Son (Jesus) sets you free, you are truly free.’ If he sets you free from your past, remember that you are truly free, you don’t have to repeat your old mistakes. You become a new creation, a child of God, once you accept Christ as the saviour of your life. Out with the old way of doing things, in with the new way of life. I know it’s easier said than done but you have to be intentional. Remember, the whole process takes time and it’s a daily affair, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

This is my story… To put some context in this story, I have been married the last decade to a cheating spouse and the last four years have been without any sex. I know for some of you, your jaw has just dropped but I know there is someone out there who can relate to this story. I am not looking for sympathy here and I acknowledge my part in this dysfunctional union. I am not perfect and could say that I emotionally cheated at the beginning when things were tough and I felt like quitting. I strung along a guy who has always fancied me and the attention felt so good in comparison with the neglect I felt from my spouse. The constant flirting and conversation made me feel wanted and attractive, but this relationship also came with its low points. You will never be number one to the other person. They go quiet on you when they have a new love in their life and you end up feeling empty. The guilt that you are doing the same thing as your spouse also haunts you. You are praying to God to change your cheating spouse but YOU are also cheating in some way.

So, two months ago, I met a very attractive guy and we exchanged numbers. I know what you are thinking. YEAH, it already sounds wrong and your mind is just saying, DO NOT OPEN THAT DOOR. He is married with kids and says that he loves his wife. This is what he says and thinks. He says that the only thing lacking in his marriage is regular sex as his wife is unable to satisfy his needs due to a medical condition. He claims that he is attracted to me and would like to have an arrangement , a friends with benefits arrangement. I was caught off guard by this proposition but I had already suspected that he was attracted to me the day we met. It shocked me that despite the danger I felt that I was playing with fire, I had actually considered it myself but didn’t have the courage to voice it.

This relationship however is wrong and adulterous if I’m to be completely honest with myself. It also shows how much I don’t love and respect myself because how can I love myself yet I’m willing to engage in a conversation with a proposal to become a mistress. Someone’s no. 2, someone’s sexual fantasy. To add onto this injury, this dude does not respect my boundaries, he keeps trying to change the dates and times that we are to meet. He clearly doesn’t respect my time. I have more to lose in keeping this relationship. First, I have been through so much this last decade and God has been my anchor, comforter, refuge and avenger. His mercy and grace have kept me and to engage in this sin would be to betray my maker who has continuously shown me mercy and repeatedly given me beauty for my ashes. Second, I value the commitment I made in my marriage and would not want my children to suffer because of my lust. Society is cruel and unforgiving to philandering wives and the wrath is not worth any hot, steamy and out of this world sex. Thirdly, instead on focusing on meeting my goals, fulfilling my purpose, I am focused on relationship that will hinder my prayers from being answered and God’s blessings.

I guess you are wondering what steps I’m going to take, having acknowledged that this relationship is poisonous to my wellbeing. I think I have two options:

• Cut off the friendship in its entirety…block him and go cold turkey. GHOST HIM or
• Try to nature a platonic friendship, where I get to become friends with his wife and only meet with him with his wife or with company

Do you think any of these options can work? Let me know in the comments section.

I would also like to share some tips on how to stay on the right path as an intentional Christian:

• Be intentional in your spiritual growth
• -Read the bible, get a daily devotion, listen to podcasts, watch YouTube videos. God’s word contains the truth on how you should live and putting it into action however hard it feels, gives you true freedom and keeps you out of trouble.
• Stay away from things that trigger you to go back to your old self
• Change your friends if you have to, stop watching content that causes you to sin, know your value (learn to love and respect yourself and it will get easier to say NO to things that don’t build you)
• Pray, Pray , Pray
• The Holy Spirit who lives in you, comes to your aid when you pray. He works on your conscience when you are doing wrong and urges you to change. He puts obstacles in your way to prevent you from occasions of sin and gives you wisdom to know when you are playing with fire.
• Talk to a trusted friend or counsellor about your struggles–
• No matter how shameful it might feel, whenever something that is hidden in the dark is brought to light, it stops tormenting us, the temptation to do it reduces. Shame tries to keep us in the dark and hinders our progress to live a better life full of freedom. Brenè Brown in her book ‘The Gift of Imperfection’ says, ‘Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment. When something shaming happens to us and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows. It consumes us.’

Always remember who God says you are. Stay blessed.

Who You Say I Am – Hillsong Worship https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKw6uqtGFfo

Most people, including myself, start the new year all geared up to become better versions of themselves. Each year is a gift and a chance to press reset and start again. That is the beauty of God’s grace. We can start again not only at the beginning of the year but every day. Jesus came on earth so that we could live life abundantly (John 10:10). Jesus died for you and me and when we receive him into our hearts, we become a new creation. A brand-new person whose sins have been forgiven. It doesn’t matter what you have done, if you confess your sins from a contrite heart and seek God’s forgiveness, you are given a new lease to life.

God loves you and he thinks that you are amazing and enough. He has given you gifts, talents and a great destiny. God created you in His image. He is the great Creator and since He has made you in His image, you also have the creating power through the gifts that he has given you. Every good and perfect gift is from above. (James 1:17) Never forget this. With these gifts, we have a responsibility to give them back to God. How do we do this? By using your gifts to do good, by encouraging others, by bringing needed change in our society. We have a responsibility to use our gifts and have a conscious realisation that the gifts can be taken away from us (at any time) because in reality, they were gifted to us and we were never entitled to them. This is a scary fact and it woke me up this week.

I was following a story of a man who in his younger years curated a music video which quickly trended and as it goes with music, another new song took over the trend and his was long forgotten. Fast forward, many years later, he is suffering from an ailment which has affected his throat and he has lost his voice. The miracle about his story though is, out of nowhere, his music video has started trending again 20+ years later and his fans are so intrigued by his story, that they have started contributing to a medical fund to help him undergo a throat surgery to fix his voice. Had this man not used his gifts when he did, this miracle would not have come his way. He was obedient to God and he used his gift to create something beautiful.

Just like in the ”Parable of the Talents“, in Matthew 25:14–30, we have a responsibility to use of God given talents or they will be taken from us and given to others. In addition to the old man’s story above, I came across a homily given by a Catholic priest (from minute 11- 20) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdFVPQwmXQc&t=1201s, that reaffirmed that God was really talking to me about the timeline of my gifts and I share this with you as I care about you. WOW, your talents indeed have an expiry date if you are not using them. Doesn’t that scare you. Do not despair though, God’s grace allows us to start a new. My challenge to you is, if you haven’t been using your gifts, start today. If you haven’t discovered your gifts, begin today the journey of trying to discover them.

God has plans for you and assures you this in his Word, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11) If God plans for our life, we should all plan how to live our lives in line with the will of God which is good and pleasing to Him. How do you know the will of God you may ask? It is through reading His word and spending time with Him, so that in the stillness, you may hear that whisper from Him on what you should do. Seeking spiritual counsel or guidance on you plans can also shed some light whether it is the will of God. God speaks to us through people. The Bible is the truest manual on how we should live our life. Self-help books, videos and audios may be inspiring but make sure they are in line with what the Word requires of you.

Enjoy life each day and strive not to be mediocre and in setting your goals and resolutions, make reference to the bible to discover the true will of God. God’s will for you is also in the development of your character. How do you treat others? What duty do you have as a Christian in living your life here on earth? It doesn’t matter what people are doing around you. What matters is what God wants you to do. A good starting point is Romans 12.

• Let your love be sincere, hate what is evil, hold on to what is good

• Love one another, show honour, do not grow slack in zeal(look for ways to energize yourself to live, motivate yourself)

• Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction (don’t give up) persevere in prayer(PRAY, PRAY,PRAY)   

• Contribute to the needs of the holy ones(tithe, donate to the church, they are able to spread good and love to more of the masses)

•  Exercise hospitality (in doing so, you may be hosting an angel and it might pay forward)

• Bless people who persecute you because vengeance is God’s (besides, the best Karma is from God)

• Don’t forget this great ADVICE, do not think of yourself too highly than you ought to think or refuse to associate with those who are less blessed financially than yourself, as every perfect gift that you have (talents, material possessions) if from God. It has been gifted to you and can be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

Stay WOKEN, BE BLESSED and remember, it’s never too late to start from where you are and with what you have. Love you all.

Sometimes, another writer takes the words right out of your mouth and they articulate what is deep in your heart. It requires humility to acknowledge another and their work. We are all gifted in our own way but sometimes, another person says it better. I have been on a journey trying to find my purpose and why I am on this earth. I have been feeling lost, especially with all the changes that have happened in my life over the last decade: from becoming a wife, mother, changing my career and facing various life challenges. I came across an article by Emily Harmon’ Who am I anyway’. This article summarizes what I feel.

Sometimes what may seem to be ordinary and boring in your life is God’s purpose for your life. If he blessed you with parenthood, marriage, single-hood, whatever the case may be, you are where you are not by mistake but it is all in God’s design. Embrace it and be all that you can be in the ordinary. Live your ordinary in an extraordinary way, for it is in such doing that you will find blessings and your true purpose. He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion. ( Philippians 1:6) Everything happens for your good. It brings you closer to your destiny and prepares you for it. Love yourself. You are perfect, You are worthy, You are loved and You have a great destiny. Take courage, fear not, soldier on and pursue your dreams. If God is for you, who can be against you. You are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. God bless.

 

Love is the greatest of all virtues and gifts (I Corinthians 13:13). The bible reminds us that you could have the greatest talents but if your don’t have love, the talents mean nothing. You can have faith that moves mountains and all the hope in the world but if you don’t have love, it means nothing. Today, I am greatly challenged to let go of all the hurt, disappointment and bitterness and to love all who have disappointed and hurt me.

It is amazing how we have been created to love even those who repeatedly hurt and disappoint us. I am speaking from experience. I truly believe that what God has joined becomes one. No matter how much a spouse hurts you, deep down in your heart you may still have mad love for them. We all make mistakes, whether we learn from them is up to an individual. Infidelity does not have to break a marriage if you are both willing to work at it. God does not want you to give up on your marriage. His design for marriage is until death do you part. He doesn’t like divorce. We divorce because we harden our hearts and refuse to forgive, refuse to be humiliated and because of our pride. Softening of the heart requires humility and the grace of God. We naturally want to put up walls to protect our hearts from pain. Nobody wants to feel rejected and taken advantage of. It hurts really bad and feels like the ultimate betrayal.

The big question is, are you willing to let God take control of your life fully? Are you willing to do as God wants us to do, to love one another, to bear each others weaknesses, to forgive even when you feel the ultimate betrayal has happened? It is not easy but if you let God, he heals the broken hearts, he reconciles what seems impossible and he avenges on your behalf. Do not conform to the pattern of the world, the world vouches for divorce when things are not working but be transformed and renew your mind on what is holy and pleasing to God. (Romans 12: 2) God does like divorce, don’t give in to the pressures around you. Hang in there. Seek God and ask Him for renewed love for your spouse.

I have been listening to the audio book of Stormie Omartian’s ‘ Power of a Praying Wife’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3QuiBerh_8. There is also a free pdf ebook. It has really been a  blessing and has made me look at my marriage from a different perspective. I hope it will bless you too if this blog is relevant to you. You did not read this by mistake. God is talking to you.

Image credit: dreamstime.com

I have always wanted to live on my own to experience the little freedoms of life: to walk naked in the house…hahaha, eat ice cream and pizza and leave the tub and box on the coffee table, not wash my dishes, binge watch series for a whole weekend and just stay in bed doing nothing. I have not yet been granted this wish in my nearly 40 years on this earth. I should be careful however what I wish for. I have only enjoyed this freedom for a short while when travelling for work. I went to a boarding school for my high school, was in a hostel in university where I always had a roommate, I lived at home when I was working at my first job then I got married and moved in with my husband.

Freedom, whether at work, life or in a relationship, comes with responsibility which many people do not consider when demanding it. The questions that one should ask themselves are: Are you responsible enough to do the right thing, be it work or managing finances? Are you accountable even when nobody is watching? Careful what you wish for because the stakes are higher when you get this perceived freedom.

When freedom is abused, it leads to destruction and draws us further from God. Many teenagers cannot wait to get out of their parents houses but as soon as some move out, they get in to trouble by falling pregnant, using drugs and abusing alcohol. In relationships, some people want the freedom to keep their phones private. These freedom in turn abets infidelity and encourages the watch of pornography in secret. Some people want freedom from their bosses monitoring them but waste plenty of time on social media and phone calls when granted this freedom.

God has given us free will. We all however have a tendency to abuse this freedom but we can make a choice to do what is right. God has given us the Bible as an instruction manual to guide us to take the right steps and make the right decisions. Some of the instructions I will mention can be found in the book of Romans and Ephesians.

Romans 12-15 lays out the duties of a Christian as follows:

• Transform your mind by reading God’s word to discover the will of God for you which is good pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2)
• Don’t think to highly of yourself than you ought to (Romans 12:3) You can be confident but don’t think you are better than others. We all have different gifts. (Romans 12:4-6) Don’t be wise in your own estimation, associate with all, poor or rich. (Romans 12: 16) There is always something to learn from other
• Use your God given gifts. (Romans 12: 6) Don’t grow slack in zeal, motivate yourself (Romans 12:11). Stay hopeful, persevere during hard times and pray (Romans 12:12)
• Let your love be sincere, hate what is evil, love others and show them honour. (Romans 12:9) Don’t revenge. Try to do what is fair in everyone’s eyes and try to live at peace with all. (Romans 12:17-21)
• Exercise hospitality, contribute to the needs of holy ones (Romans 12:13). Bless others with what God has given you. Tithe.
• Be there for others, cry with them, laugh with them (Romans 12:15)
•  The Golden Rule of life is to do unto others as would like them to do unto you. (Matthew 7:12). When it comes to love, the bible tells us that love fulfils all law. Love your neighbour as yourself. When you love, you can do no evil to neighbour. (Romans 13:9-10)

Ephesian 4-6 also gives us rules for a person who has chosen a new life, to walk in the light:

• Speak the truth, no more lies (Ephesians 4:25)
• You can get angry but don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down when you are still angry. (Ephesians 4:26). Be quick to forgive and let go. Its poison for your soul.
• Do honest work. (Ephesians 4:28). Don’t steal, don’t be corrupt.
• No foul language should come from your mouth (Ephesians 4:29). Encourage others and offer compliments.
• Be wise. Make the most of opportunities that come your way (Ephesians 5:15-16).
• Don’t get drunk (Ephesians 5:18). Drunkenness leads to all kinds of evil, undesired sexual behaviour, drug abuse and much more.
• Give praise and thanksgiving to God for everything you have been blessed with. (Ephesians 5:20) Always remember that ‘every good and perfect gift is from God’ (James 1:7).
• We should respect one another (Ephesians 5: 21). Wives are reminded that they must respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:22).
• Husbands are reminded to love their wives like their own bodies (Ephesians 5:25-29)
• Children are reminded to obey and honour their parents and promised a long life and blessings if they do this. (Ephesians 6:1-3)
• Fathers are told not to provoke their children but to train and discipline them as they grow 😊 (Ephesians 6:4).
• Employees are reminded to obey and respect their bosses and to work with their whole heart even when their bosses are not watching. (Ephesians 6:5-7)
• Bosses should not bully their employees. They are reminded that God is their boss and He sees all human beings as equal and will judge them accordingly. (Ephesians 6:9)

We should strive to be accountable for the freedom given to us and to use it to do God’s will. We have a choice and we will all be judged accordingly.