Entanglement

Photo credit: ‘Quantum: the open journal for Quantum Science’

The world has been having a laugh at the Will Smith and Jada Pinket incident, where Jada Pinkett took herself to the Red table and admitted to having “an entanglement” with August Alsina. The Oxford online dictionary defines an entanglement as, ‘a complicated or compromising relationship or situation.’  The comments about the Red Table conversation are interesting to read. Many focus on how Will Smith has been betrayed and hurt by Jada. What caught my ear while watching the video, was Will’s comment after Jada said the affair happened when the relationship had been in a rocky place. Will said ‘I was tired of your ass’ to add context to the situation.

It is not shocking that the world attacks women when they have affairs, yet it is okay for men to have affairs. It has been rumoured that Will Smith has had or is having an affair with a model Heidi De la Rosa. Rumour has it that the couple has an open marriage but the couple denies this. Whether these rumours are true or not, my intention is not to fuel more gossip like tabloids and it is also none of my business.

I would just like to talk about real life situations and how many of us can relate to how affairs and situations happen. One video I watched a while back, Jada indicated that she felt bitter than she had to sacrifice her career ambitions for her family as Will continued to excel in his career. She took care of the kids and watched her husband become a star. On Jada’s 40th birthday party, Will threw a very flamboyant birthday party for her but she wasn’t thrilled as he expected her to be. Jada’s words were, ‘a ridiculous display of Will’s  Ego.’ It is clear that Will did not really know his wife well and I guess also he did not understand her frustrations.

Many women can relate to giving up their dreams for the family and secretly feeling unappreciated and to some extent jealous of their partner’s success. Women loose themselves and start living their husband’s dream. When the husband has an affair, the betrayal goes so deep as the woman feels like her sacrifice was for nothing. This is a scenario that happens in too many homes where women give up their dreams. Sadly, it has happened to me too. The man becomes successful and wealthy, starts taking his wife for granted, feels so powerful and before you know it, an affair blossoms. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that women should not opt for stay at home mom careers or that it is only men who cheat.

Women who are betrayed in this sense sometimes feel like taking matters into their own hands and having an affair too.  Vengeance is their goal with an intention of getting back at their spouse even if their spouse is unaware of this. They also want to feel loved and alive and may look for love elsewhere when they don’t feel validated at home. Vengeance is a down hill fiasco as one painfully realises that two wrongs don’t make a right when you feel guilty about your actions. Always remember, we shall each give an account of how we lived our lives to God (Romans 14:12).

Let God fight your battles. He reminds us that, don’t repay anyone’s evil for evil, vengeance is his, he will repay on your behalf. (Romans 12:17,19) The journey after being betrayed by a spouse should be towards healing yourself. Get to know yourself again, revive your dreams, know that your worth and value are from God alone. He has a great plan for your future (Jeremiah 29:11). God loves you greatly, nothing can separate you from the love of God, no man, no situation, NOTHING (Romans 8:39). Remember to forgive yourself for making your relationship a small god and the center of your life.

I am on a soul searching journey and consuming alot of content on getting to know myself and my purpose. Some helpful you tube videos that I have watched are excerpts of conversations by Oprah Winfrey. If you have ever felt betrayed like me and you are still healing, join me in this self discovery journey. YOU CAN DO IT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND VALUED.  Keep your head up high, fall in love with yourself and do what you were put on this earth to do. Going forward, ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST IN YOUR LIFE.